I’ve got bridges for sale
Con men, technocracy, and deep-seated urban decay
Peter Thiel and George C. Parker. Source: Simone Is Dócha
I used to wish I were a con man, mainly because I thought the guys in Ocean’s Eleven had swag. They lived such an alluring lifestyle, I was hooked. Unfortunately, the con men in movies are a lot cooler than those in real life. In the real world, we’ve got tech oligarchs who are revolting to even look at, without a tenth of the charm that Clooney possesses. Obviously, this is about evil incarnate, Peter Thiel, the co-founder of Palantir and, most notably, PayPal. Palantir is a surveillance company that sells tools which its customers (including corporations, nonprofits, and government agencies) use to sort through data. Thiel is something of an insane human who believes the enigmatic Greta Thunberg is the Antichrist. He also provided invaluable funding for JD Vance’s political career, plucked him out of obscurity and propelled him to the very top. There's a good chance Vance will be the new president of America, thanks to the wonderful Peter Thiel helping him cross that finish line.
Palantir Headquarters. Source: Bloomberg
Do you remember when Silicon Valley was seen as cool? The millennials loved it. They were so excited for the future. I’ll be honest, I don’t blame them. Back then, Silicon Valley was as much a place for eccentric yuppies as relatable billionaires, who, surprisingly, wore jeans and t-shirts! They even had a ping pong table in the office. Come on, you’ve got to admit that that’s pretty cool. Tech companies pumped out propaganda promoting this laid-back tech or cyberpunk-adjacent future to the millennial generation. It was very direct, and honestly, effective. It even trickled down to Gen Z, who, pre-COVID, viewed Elon Musk as a chill tech oligarch that smoked weed… on the “Joe Rogan” podcast. However, the semi-liberal persona he undertook pre-2020 seems to have faded. After he purchased Twitter, he implemented a host of changes, facilitating a massive surge in hate speech within the app. Along with his peers, he’s just a pathetic con-man, who, just like beloved scam artist George C. Parker, is desperate to sell you bullshit. Unlike Parker, whose speciality was selling the Brooklyn Bridge to naïve immigrants and tourists (honestly, can’t deny how impressive it was), Musk, Trump, Thiel, Altman (OpenAI CEO), Arvind Krishna (IBM CEO) and all the others like them are trying to sell us a “rational” and “unavoidable” genocide of the Palestinian people and land. Digital colonialism seems to be the new frontier.
So True Kanye
I know we here in Ireland are all really jealous about this, but no need to fret! We’ve got our very own aspiring venture capitalist and blackface adopter, Eoin Hayes, to lead us to that promised future. Hayes is a TD for Dublin South Bay for the Social Democrats*. He spent his late 20s working in New York, Palo Alto, and London, and helped build the data system for the Obama presidential campaign. He also worked on client strategy for the ever-present Silicon Valley firm Palantir. Now he wants to bring his talents back to Dublin. Hayes hopes for Dublin to “really be the Silicon Docks”, and I love that for him. Thank god he sold his Palantir shares for just under €200,000…..in July 2024. It’s not like he knew about Palantir’s assistance in the genocide of Palestine. He didn’t hear about their facilitation in the development of IDF AI models. No, he definitely had no clue. Would a con man ever lie to you?
Eoin Hayes. Source: Waterford News and Star
“The U.S.-based company Palantir, founded in 2003, also collaborates with various governmental, law enforcement, and military organizations, including those in Israel. Palantir’s AI programs rely on data on Palestinians from intelligence reports. According to documents released by Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower, one of the sources of such data was the U.S. National Security Agency.” Source: Anwar Mhajne for The Cairo Review
Palantir CEO and Peter Thiel with Head of Israel’s Mafat. Source: Bloomberg
These fascists are desperate to contribute to the urban decay of our environment. They don’t plan to be here for much longer; they don’t give a shit. They need to placate the masses; everything must be a consumerist, aestheticised pop culture meme. We all yearn for the slop developed and shared by our beloved techno kings.
